


Blocking Out the Noise

by FeelSoHelpless



Series: 3 Times Eliza Caught Alex Cheating on Her [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, alex is a cheating bastard, he didn't deserve her, their children are just adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-28 06:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11412594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeelSoHelpless/pseuds/FeelSoHelpless
Summary: It seemed that Eliza coming home late wasn't a good idea either.





	Blocking Out the Noise

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!

Ever since Eliza discovered that her husband was having an affair she had been walking on eggshells around him. Afraid she might say the wrong thing or break down. Around Alex, she forced herself to be numb, and around the children she tried to be her normal self. And ignoring the sadness that was threatening to constantly consume her.

She didn’t tell Alex that she knew he was cheating on her. Eliza didn’t know why she didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to face the consequences of it becoming even more real. She wanted to live in the world where they were still the happy family and there was nothing that could break it up. The signs he was cheating became more obvious. When he would say he was staying late at work or had to go to work on a Saturday. It was when he was with her.

The sound of a woman’s moan played constantly on repeat in Eliza’s head as well as the carefree laugh that came from Alex. It was all like a siren screaming that she wasn’t good enough. That she had never been enough for Alex. And maybe she wasn’t and it just took this for it actually set in.

Eliza blinked tiredly as she put her car into park after she pulled into the driveway of her and Alex’s house. It was hard to call it a home when she had trouble sleeping in her own bed, knowing that another woman had been there. That another woman had Alex inside of her on that bed, the same bed that their children would climb into on Sunday mornings.

She looked up at the house and tried to swallow back the tiredness that was threatening to consume her. She could feel her stomach sink to her knees as she glanced up at her bedroom window, noting that the windows were dimmed. Similar to how it was when Alex was with another woman. Eliza tried to clear her mind and prayed that her thoughts wouldn’t overwhelm her.

There were times when she still had trouble entering her house, for the fear that someone else was there. That Alex would have brought someone over, while she was gone. It had probably happened before, but the fear that it would happen again was constantly in the back of her mind.

Shadows drifted through Eliza and Alex’s bedroom window and she could feel her stomach drop to her feet. Not again. Oh, please not again. This had to be her imagination. Just her mind playing previous events on repeat.

Eliza swallowed back her doubts and stepped out of the car. With trembling hands she unlocked the front door and moved silently as she set down her purse and keys. The house was dark, Eliza glanced at her watch and noticed that it was a bit after ten o’clock. She had to stay late at the orphanage to get last minute paperwork done. Eliza had thought that Alex would be able to take care of the kids and even have them in bed before she got back. No matter how much it killed her to not see her children before they went to sleep, it was the one time. And she would of course peek in their rooms once she got home.

Before, she could even think about checking on her children, she had to erase the worries that were plaguing her. That Alex had another woman in their bed again. He knew that she wouldn’t be gone for long, there was no way that he would take the risk of having another woman over.  Eliza went upstairs and tried to silence the echoing screams that resonated in her head that she wasn’t good enough.

Her thoughts seemed to multiply by the thousands as she got closer to her bedroom. For a moment her mind was silent as she listened for any sign that she was enough. That Alex being with the other woman was a one time thing. Not something that had been going on for weeks, months or even years.

It was hard to pinpoint a time when he wasn’t hers anymore. When he was only partly with her.

The sound of a moan broke through her thoughts. And her heart shattered for the second time.Tears slipped down her cheeks like a waterfall. Eliza tried to steady her breathing, so they couldn’t hear her. Oh god, she didn’t want to to deal with this right now. She just wanted to see her children. And for a moment forget about her cheating bastard of a husband.

Eliza swiped her hand against her eyes in an attempt to wipe away her tears. She took a deep breath and tried to calm the heaving sobs that were threatening to swallow her whole. She wanted to cry. All she really wanted was to sit down and cry in peace damn it. To feel as if she had a chance to fall apart and not as if she had to keep it together for appearances sake.

A few moments later, when Eliza felt as if she had at least crafted herself back together for a while, she stood. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore what was obviously happening in her bedroom. The best solution would be to focus on her children. The children she had last seen that morning. It already felt too long.

Eliza walked the opposite way down the hall, towards the children’s bedrooms. She lightly opened the door to her youngest, one year old John’s room. He was sleeping soundly and Eliza could feel her heart slightly melt at the sight of her son sleeping. She could feel some of the despair that had been choking her a mere two minutes ago, slip away. Quietly, she closed the door, and walked the two steps to the next bedroom, where James and Alex Jr. slept.

She pushed open the door and was happy to see two out of her four sons asleep. She stepped into the room and walked over to her James. She brushed hair out of his face and couldn’t help the soft smile that came over her face as she stared at her son. During the day he had boundless energy, like all of her other children. Being able to see him as peaceful as he was, filled her heart. Reluctantly, she stepped away and walked over to Alex Jr., she pulled up his blanket and tucked it further around his shoulders. Eliza sighed and walked back over to the door. She stole one last look at James and Alex Jr. before stepping out and closing the door behind her.

Eliza slowly opened Philip’s door, and frowned at the sight of his desk lamp on.

“Hey.” Eliza said lightly. Philip’s head snapped up as he looked at her from the book he was reading.

“Hi.” Philip said, a smile on his face. “You’re home late.”

“There was a lot of work at the orphanage. How was everything here?” There was a slight edge to Eliza’s voice.

“It was fine. I think dad had a hard time handling everything. You make it look easy.” Philip said playfully.

“Good.” Eliza walked closer to him, until she was standing right next to his desk. She wanted to say more. To ask if he had any idea that Alex had invited another woman over. But, that would make it worse. To instill the idea that his father is cheating on her, it would crush him. Philip looked at his father like he was the sun, Eliza couldn’t ruin that.

Philip’s eyes were still scanning through the pages.

“Don’t stay up too late.” Eliza said as she leaned down and pressed a kiss against the top of his head.

“Alright, mom.” Philip said, a knowing smile spreading across his face.

“Good night, Philip.” Eliza said lovingly, as she walked back over to the door.

“Night, Mom.” He was still reading, but she could hear the obvious love in his voice.

Eliza walked out of Philip’s bedroom, feeling lighter than she had when she had walked into the house.

Lastly, was her daughter, Angelica’s room. She pushed open the door and peeked in. Moonlight slipped in through the window and lit up Angelica’s sleeping face. Eliza sighed and couldn’t help but feel love fill her, it helped wipe away what she had witnessed earlier. It felt like her children had the ability to heal any wound, or at least take away the sting.

“Mama?” Angelica’s said sleepily. Eliza looked over at her and admired the way that Angelica’s eyes blinked sleepily and she seemed to be barely awake.

“Yes?” Eliza responded quietly.

“Could you lay down with me?”

Eliza hesitated for a moment. There was a part of her that wanted nothing more than to join her daughter. Another part of her also wanted to lock herself away in the bathroom to be able to cry away all of her problems.

“Of course, sweetheart.”

Eliza walked over, slipping off her shoes before climbing into bed with her daughter. Angelica quickly snuggled into her mother’s side and Eliza sighed lovingly.

Without her consent, Eliza felt her eyes drooping and her mind winding down. She blinked sleepily, and glanced down at her daughter. Angelica’s breathing had slowed, and Eliza knew she was either already or just about in a deep sleep. Eliza wanted to allow herself to just fall asleep then and there. To sleep beside her daughter and let all of her worries and doubts slip away just for a night. To sleep peacefully, and not have dreams of Alex with other women. Before she could make a decision on whether or not to stay with her daughter, Eliza was already asleep.


End file.
